In Pursuit of Imperfection
In Pursuit of Imperfection: Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist
Hello. My name is Matthew and I'm a Perfectionist. Well, a recovering one at least. I really was doomed to be a perfectionist; I'm about as obsessive-compulsive as anyone can be. I wash my hands at least twice if I absolutely have to use a public restroom (which I will avoid even at the cost of uncomfortable cramping). I want a house that is symmetrical - asymmetry bothers me greatly.
My sophomore year of college, the dean of students called me in to his office. He knew I was stressed to the max and ready to quit school. I was married, working two jobs, and attending college full time. In trying to balance everything, I let my grades slip - hence the reason for my stress. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit my grades were terrible that semester.
I got all B's.
Okay - 95% of you are either laughing at me or ready to kill me (yes, I'm thankful to the 5% of you who actually understand my pain). The dean was one of the laughers - he acutally laughed at me and explained to me that B's are still above average.
But I'm a perfectionist. I always wanted the 4.0 average. Going into college, I planned out every class for the next four years. I would stay up all night making sure papers were perfect. I did all the extra-credit assignments - even if I already had an A in the class.
I used to believe that anything I did, I had to give 100% to it. But now I'm recovering from that.
What is the point of spending 10 hours on a 3-hour paper to make sure it is perfect? That paper will be forgotten soon (okay, I'm a pack rat too; that paper will be in my storage files for the next 30 years, but I'll never look at it).
But my wife will remember if I took a few hours to watch a movie with her. My family will remember me inviting them over for chili (even after the smell has dissipated).
I've got quite a few endeavors on the proverbial table right now (see my article on "Jack of all Trades"), and I might get to them. But for now, I'm trying not to dwell on any one thing to the point of perfection. I'm just trying to enjoy life and have as much fun as I can.
I'm trying... but not perfect.
Hello. My name is Matthew and I'm a Perfectionist. Well, a recovering one at least. I really was doomed to be a perfectionist; I'm about as obsessive-compulsive as anyone can be. I wash my hands at least twice if I absolutely have to use a public restroom (which I will avoid even at the cost of uncomfortable cramping). I want a house that is symmetrical - asymmetry bothers me greatly.
My sophomore year of college, the dean of students called me in to his office. He knew I was stressed to the max and ready to quit school. I was married, working two jobs, and attending college full time. In trying to balance everything, I let my grades slip - hence the reason for my stress. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit my grades were terrible that semester.
I got all B's.
Okay - 95% of you are either laughing at me or ready to kill me (yes, I'm thankful to the 5% of you who actually understand my pain). The dean was one of the laughers - he acutally laughed at me and explained to me that B's are still above average.
But I'm a perfectionist. I always wanted the 4.0 average. Going into college, I planned out every class for the next four years. I would stay up all night making sure papers were perfect. I did all the extra-credit assignments - even if I already had an A in the class.
I used to believe that anything I did, I had to give 100% to it. But now I'm recovering from that.
What is the point of spending 10 hours on a 3-hour paper to make sure it is perfect? That paper will be forgotten soon (okay, I'm a pack rat too; that paper will be in my storage files for the next 30 years, but I'll never look at it).
But my wife will remember if I took a few hours to watch a movie with her. My family will remember me inviting them over for chili (even after the smell has dissipated).
I've got quite a few endeavors on the proverbial table right now (see my article on "Jack of all Trades"), and I might get to them. But for now, I'm trying not to dwell on any one thing to the point of perfection. I'm just trying to enjoy life and have as much fun as I can.
I'm trying... but not perfect.
posted by Matthew and Martha Morgan at 1:26 PM
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